steps of the ryman

I…I’m an overthinker. If presented with a scenario, my mind quickly assesses the pros and cons of any given potential outcome that it might yield. This quality does have its perks, as well as its fair share of drawbacks, but as a glass half full thinker, I will credit myself fortunate to be classified as an overthinker.

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I’ve drafted over 3,000 words now as an attempt to process what I think I’ve condensed down to something more digestable that more fully captures my final sentiments regarding one particular scenario: meeting a man. Right on target for most of my blog posts, I know, but this one was different. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t even wanted, and yet it happened. I was completely blindsided, and in denial of it for the most part, until our brief window of interaction was closed. It was enlightening and helpful to have that experience as it helped me come to terms with my own fears and ultimate desires in relationships and in life.

I am happy to have had that momentary spark. It felt good to feel again.

WHY I WROTE A SONG

I had some house guests – three musicians on tour – a little over a week ago and they left a strong impression on me. My original plan was to write a song for each of them, one that would capture their individual beauty, be a bit whimsical and silly, and yet speak to some moments that would be both personal between us and also relatable to others. Well, that’s what a song usually is, so I guess this paragraph is kind of like a cow’s opinion.

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It was only in this attempt that I was able to sort and process some new information to myself which was that I was attracted to one of them. After three song drafts in for the guy, and zero drafts for the ladies, was when that was made clear to me. Sorry, ladies who were here, the dude – CountryMan we’ll call him – has monopolized my thoughts. He gets this full blog post.

WHAT THE SONG IS ABOUT

This is a song about when you’re attracted to a guy, and you know and feel its mutual, but you’ll only ever just be friends. As true as that might be, you can’t help but daydream of a moment where there’s actual words spoken, followed by action taken, to solidify that feeling in a tangible manifestation of the unspoken truth. Even if its just for a second, you can still carry that moment forever.

Its about a responsible girl who struggles with the following quote as a strong navigator of her worldview and choices.

“In order to act, above the level of mere impulse, we must claim a similar validity for our judgments of good and evil.” – C.S. Lewis

And yet its about a girl who is very much using the following quote out of context, as I’m pretty sure it’s about living a life for Christ, but in an occasionally-true pulpit-preaching fashion, its message might be bent just a tad to fit the message she wants to give.

“To live without risk is to risk not living.” – Brennan Manning

And its about just letting go, something most often only done in the rarest of circumstances, and almost always only in dreams.

“To CountryMan, I was enchanted to meet you. If our paths were to ever cross again, I imagine things would play out something like this (The Steps of the Ryman).” – Mellie Parkway

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THE SONG

Note: It is incredibly hard to write music without a piano and on the guitar when you are not very good at the guitar and you’ve only ever written music with the assistance of a keyboard. All anyone gets to enjoy for now will be the lyrics. I have the corresponding chords being documented but I almost more welcome the lack of melody and harmony shown below as it allows me to embrace this vulnerable moment and share before I over-overthink things and decide not to post anything at all. The music is what makes the words come alive. But this is a blog, a place where the written word, sometimes integrated with memes to help dilute the heaviness of some topics to provide more accessible interaction from readers, is enough. This is me settling for the sake of expressing at least something over nothing at all.

STEPS OF THE RYMAN

Your flight from Texas lands, I’m the friend-turned-Uber for the day
A music dream chaser, you’re now in Nashville to stay
The romantic in me comes out, unexpected, full force
A detour to the Ryman, it’ll be a surprise change of course

I’m gonna kiss you on the steps of the Ryman
Be your first real star struck girl before I know you’ll make it big
Go live that poly lifestyle, the girls like a country man
But never forget, I was your first true Nashville fan

Your glowing smile as I navigate, wonderin’ what I have planned
You know we’ve felt some moments, and pretend to mistakenly brush my hand
A lucky parking meter frees up, I pull in
We walk together down Broadway, and our journey we begin
and you don’t know it but

I’m gonna kiss you on the steps of the Ryman
Be your first real star struck girl before I know you’ll make it big
Go live that poly lifestyle, the girls like a country man
But never forget, I was your first true Nashville fan

You’re too special to ever be shared, but you’re not mine to claim
I say this all as we make our way to the threshold, on the steps, zero shame
But for this one time, since I can’t get you outta my mind
we’ve arrived at The Mecca, now here, close your eyes
and listen to me closely

I’m gonna kiss you right here on the steps of the Ryman
Be your first real star struck girl before I know you’ll make it big
Go live that poly lifestyle, the girls like a country man
But never forget, I was your first true Nashville fan

Remember this one kiss, the one from your first true Nashville fan

forgetremember_elizabethtown
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