this one will be different

I have a date! If you have been reading my blog, you’ll know this isn’t necessarily anything new. This date, however, is going to be different. I know it.

WHY THIS ONE WILL BE DIFFERENT

HE HAS A JOB

This seems like an obvious requirement for a fella clockin’ in around the 35th year life marker. The guys I’ve previously dated (just in Nashville, not in life…I don’t always make stupid choices, only this past month) had jobs in finance (bank teller and former tanning salon receptionist), automotive (window tinting, cash only and under-the-table deal-maker), and some other random, falsely-portrayed promotions of their professions that are perfectly fine (the legal ones, that is) but are not the types of careers I envision for the guy I’d like to spend my life with every day.

This guy has a job. He’s a history and literature instructor, or so he says (I haven’t fully stalked him on LinkedIn or anything to verify). He isn’t Vanderbilt professor status or anything, but rather of the humble high school teacher tier. Teaching isn’t often a profession that people lie about or can fudge to sound loftier than it is. The wiggle room scale for misrepresentation is so small so I feel quite optimistic that there won’t be any unexpected surprises where this topic is concerned.

He’s a teacher. Respectable.

HE CAN TEXT MORE THAN THREE WORDS

Again, I really loosened up the guidelines this last month’s swipe-right-or-left gaming streak. I thought of all the wonderful guys that I have in my life that are men of few words, the justification I rationalized when all I got was grunty, one-worded texts from questionable matches. I now realize that, since I have one kajillion words streaming through my head at any given second, I would like to be with someone who can contribute words at a 1:100 ratio in relation to mine. At the very least, keep up.

This guy can text more than three words. In fact, the texts that were swooshing in post-POF (if it goes well on the platform, you take things to the next level: actual text messaging) in multiples because his seemingly-archaic phone (green text bubbles indicate, at least to me, that you’re using a Motorola Razr flip phone) couldn’t send everything to me in one nice blue paragraph. The flip phone is a check mark in the “Con” list, I will admit, but maybe he’s due for a 10-year-later upgrade to the iPhone 7 and everything will be okay. He is likely getting carpal tunnel mastering T9 communication, so even if his cellular network provider shows he still has time left in is contract, I’m sure his insurance will cover his upgrade. If not, retro is in and I should applaud his lack of need for the latest tech toy to achieve external validation from others.

He’s not superficial. Down to earth.

HE MADE PLANS IN CONSIDERATION OF MY INTERESTS

Ugh, I know this is probably how it is supposed to work! I am too considerate. This isn’t like “I’m a perfectionist” in a job interview, when they ask you what you’re greatest weakness is, so you take a positive thing and make it sound negative so you seem like you are, in fact, perfect. If considerate is too misleading, let’s go with idiotic. In my desire to explore my new surroundings and be sensitive to other people’s work and life schedules, I have made some poor date choices in letting the dudes I’ve gone out with select some place that is a two-minute drive for them and an hour drive for me. This isn’t entirely their fault as I should have paid attention to 1) their zip codes, and 2) a map to know that a street named Gallatin is not the same thing as a town named Gallatin, or that a pub holding trivia night in a remote strip mall, located next to a bank and dry cleaners, saturated in a cloud of cigarette smoke, is not where I need to be spending my Friday nights. What I want, and where I want to go, matters!

This guy listened to what I had mentioned and made plans based on my interests. Among several other topics, I slipped in that I had recently been to a brewery (Side note to you, reader: my credit card was stolen at that brewery. I wasn’t too happy about it.) so he mentioned a couple in the area he has enjoyed or would like to try. And then, he asked me out with such suave artfulness that, even if he had the ugliest face in the world, I would have to say yes. From there, he mentioned some helpful tips on how parking works there, rather than leaving me to fend for myself and figure it out. An articulate dude that pays attention to my interest level as he crafts his proposed agenda, and then free-willingly provides much-needed direction, is a rare find out there in the dating pool/river/pond/puddle.

He’s a gentleman. Considerate.

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE

I am sadly confident – based on market research AKA going out with several men boys – that the picture I have painted in my head of how this date will be is an idyllic facade and all that I envision could be will come crashing down within about five seconds of our first interaction. For once, I just wanted to document the positive outlook on the potential greatness of a first date, the first date of potentially many other dates; it would be nice to have a movie and concert buddy. I don’t mind going to movies by myself but since I recently won a gift card for two Regal tickets, as well as two winery event tickets, I’d like to be able to redeem them for their full value, not 50 percent, cuz 50 percent is an F, and the only F I need to get right now is that f-ing F chord I cannot seem to master as part of my latest I’m-gonna-learn-to-play-the-guitar hobby (a story for a different day).

I suppose if it does go terribly awful, I can still maintain a positive outlook in knowing I have this blog outlet to humorously reflect on my experience, complete with YouTube clips and gifs to better illustrate of just how horrid the date was. Also, a movie and night at a winery concert alone doesn’t sound so bad, as 50 percent + 50 percent = 100 percent, and that’s an A, a chord I can strum very well.

I really hope the the positive scenario, rather than the awful one, wins out. Either way, blogs and songs will be transcribed to forever document the date with the one that will/would be different.